As my daughter’s birthday approaches, I feel a deep sense of hurt. It seems there’s nothing I can do to change her negative thoughts about me. She has formed these opinions a long time ago, and I can only hope that someday something will change her perspective. Despite the pain, I’ve learned to be patient over the years. I’ve worked hard on myself to reach where I am today, and I find contentment in my life, knowing that I’ve done my best. I’ve made efforts to mend our relationship, but she remains stubborn in her way of thinking. Despite claiming […]
I wish I could endure your pain
I wrote this when my dad was suffering from Alzheimer’s, such a horrible disease All your life you looked forward to your golden years, and you are finally there, I am sorry that it turned out the way it is. Life’s plan, so cruel. I am so sorry that your health is stealing so much from you, I am so sorry that you have worked hard all your life and now it is filled with never ending pain, So much hurts, that you cannot sleep, So unfair, you did not deserve this, I am sorry that all you want is […]
Your Words
The words you said intensely hurt, Steps forward, they stole Made me search within my soul. So much is going wrong, Hard for me to understand, I don’t feel strong. You are holding my heart, Will you again shatter it apart? Do you touch me and become fulfilled? Do you have a reflection of me and smile? You need to see, Everything I am, everything in me. Reasons to be a stranger, Is an immense danger. This can’t last forever. What’s wrong with letting happiness in? I know, I am content in my own skin.
Self Deception
Self-deception, never in my heart. I want to bind the broken, Comfort the afflicted, Strengthen the weary, Must not let them down, But how can I? When things are not right? Look at me instead of behind me, I am bruised, but not crippled. I am not crazy, but I am not sound. I am not fine, Don’t want to be a mistake, I would close my eyes, When the moon would rise. I long for a piece of mind, Star light, star bright, Shining with all my dreams…
Pay it Forward
I saw that awesome movie (Pay it Forward) and it totally moved me. So, one day I was at Bob Evans waiting to pay for my tab, I got to the cashier, and I was told my breakfast had been paid for and to pay it forward. I was like, wow that is crazy. So, I went on to look for any chances that I can pay it forward. Anything that made me want to say “aww.” I was sitting at the bar; I had just eaten lunch and was ready to pay for my tab. The bartender said, “Here […]
To be a Mom
A Mom will break her own heart into pieces and glue those pieces into your heart that is broken. She will tie your hair (im)patiently and run back to fetch your favorite toy, even if it makes her late. She will pull the feathers from her wings and lovingly add them to yours just to make sure that you can fly higher. She will use her last bit of energy at the end of a long day to wipe the tears from your sad face. A mom is the one person that will always see the beauty within you. She […]
Today is Mother’s Day, it seems that it is always cursed.
On May 8th, Sunday, twenty some years ago, my grandmother passed away. My daughter was four at the time and we spent Mother’s Day at her house with our huge family. I do not see most of them anymore, Mother’s Day from there on was never special. I loved her so much, but she showed who her favorites were, and it was not my little family. I thought she was a great person anyway; she was always helping someone in need. She was the one that would get the whole entire family together who I had not seen in many […]
Lost in the Moment
When he walked into the room, I felt him move me,
I looked deep into his eyes they ran right through me.
Just one look from you I am forever yours,
I can tell you are like no other.
In Too Deep
I’m in way too deep,
My mind has gone astray.
Self-doubt again, has a hold of me,
I struggle; however, I can’t get away.
I haven’t written as much as I had wanted to
I have not written as much as I had wanted to, but too much is going through my head to narrow anything down. Summer is here so all the reruns are on television. I have been serious about using this time to get back to my writing. This is not what I wanted to start back up with though… I am re-reading what I wrote in 1994, so many emotions and they are all mine. I started to get bored because it has been the same way in my past diaries. I am feeling sorry for the person I was, […]