I am so happy that you didn’t come back begging.

I am so happy that you did not come back begging,I am so happy I let you go. I am glad that I had to go through the worst of you,For that I am stronger than before you. I have learned the greatest lesson of all,Being independent is my best feature. I have learned so much about myself,I no longer need your advice or acceptance. I hear you found out the grass is not greener on the other side,Now you are stuck, by the way, it’s your own doing. I waited for two decades, and I am so happy we […]

“I watched a video of a couples wedding.”

The groom’s thoughtful gesture of printing a shirt with the bride’s late father’s picture for their father and daughter dance at the wedding moved me to tears. As I reflect on my emotions, I can’t help but wonder if they stem from my challenging childhood or the desire for a closer relationship with my own father, a void I’ve always felt. At this moment, I find myself at a standstill, hoping for something extraordinary to happen. Despite facing a tough start as a premature baby and enduring difficult events in my childhood, I have survived and come this far. The […]

Hi there, you told me to write to you when things have happened. Well, here it goes. (This is an email I had written my therapist a year after I had received treatment from her.)

My worries and fear that I had about my boss Kevin happened, he had a massive heart attack on August 5th, 2017. He died instantly; I grieved so hard that it brought on shingles. It was so difficult, but finally I accepted it. In December of that year my company was bought by an investor, we turned from a family-oriented business into a corporate business. They are good to us, it’s just that I am just so busy I am overwhelmed. So, I went to Hall and Oates concert and had a flash back about my dad. I hadn’t quite […]

The Present

A year and a half ago I was still working at a job I was at for fifteen years. There is a post office located behind my work and a guy I was fond of worked there. Twelve years ago, shortly after my relationship of twenty years ended, I got the courage to ask him out. I had asked him to a fourth of July party, but he said that he was seeing someone, I was like “oh man that took me a lot of courage to ask.” Fast forward to the present: we reconnected, he treats me like a […]

I Plead the 5th

I plead the 5th is always what I had thought of when I heard the 5th. Recently, that changed for me forever and not pleasantly. On August 5th, my boss {whom I was very fond of and had worked for twelve years) passed away of a massive heart attack. On October 5th, my dad passed away because he had Alzheimer’s and forgot to breathe. On March 5th, a childhood friend whom I grew up with passed away from meningitis. And in January a coworker passed away due to cancer. My boss Kevin was an extremely hard loss for me, he […]

I have not had my radio/record player in weeks.

I had just bought several records before I broke it. Well, I finally got it back from a friend who fixed it, I mean I could have always played the songs on YouTube, but there is nothing better than hearing the cracks and crackles of an album. Then it dawned on me why albums on a record player bring me back to my childhood. Whenever I was escaping a scary part in my life, I would listen to records, and they took me away into another world. I can remember the music taking me to when the artist was recording […]

I talked to my mom tonight

I talked to my mom tonight, we were talking about the attack on France (Bastille Day truck attack that killed eighty on July 14th, 2016). I have not been able to hear any news on it myself only a little, my mom does not believe Isis was involved. My niece had told her that Isis does not believe in killing children and there were children among the dead. My heart breaks, even though I posted my feelings on a media site, I hope my state shows support for them, many countries have shown us support. Then we got talking about […]

Trains

Trains have played a significant role in my life, evoking a multitude of memories.Years ago, I had to deal with trains at least twice a day during the week, and unfortunately, they would often break down. I distinctly remember a particular instance when I had to pull off the road and wait for the train to pass. I even had to call my job to explain the delay, only to find out they had also encountered issues reaching work an hour before me. During cool weather, the office would open its doors to let fresh air in. Since my job […]