Mother’s Day — Complicated and Real
On Sunday, May 8th, over twenty years ago, my grandmother passed away.
My daughter was four at the time, and we spent that Mother’s Day at her house, surrounded by our huge family.
I don’t see most of them anymore.
And from that point on, Mother’s Day stopped feeling special.
I loved her deeply.
But she showed favoritism — and my little family was never the favorite.
Still, I thought she was a great person.
Always helping someone in need.
She was the glue that brought the whole family together — people I hadn’t seen in years.
But honestly?
My memories of Mother’s Day just… sucked.
The Years That Followed
Years later, I met the man I’d spend the next 20 years with.
He was good to me in the beginning — I think — but those years are kind of a blur.
At one point, we took in his son due to a rough situation with the boy’s mother.
I raised him like he was my own.
And for years, I was dismissed.
He never saw me as a mother.
He caused so many of my tears.
Now, I look back humbly and say — I’m grateful he’s no longer part of my life.
My Daughter, My Anxiety
There’s a memory of my daughter that still shakes me up.
She stressed me out so badly one time that my body literally shook with anxiety.
That was hard to admit — but it’s part of my story too.
But Lately… Things Are Different
The last few years?
They’ve actually been good to me.
Yesterday, I spent Mother’s Day with my daughter.
And today, things sort of came together.
I get to hang out with my granddaughter.
Relax by the pool.
And my roommate is throwing a BBQ.
Life Still Happens Though…
No Wi-Fi.
No cable.
It’s been like that for a week.
So here I am, sitting outside on a bench,
on Mother’s Day,
waiting for the cable guy.
There’s a thick pile of leaves all around me,
and yes — I’m keeping an eye out for snakes.
(Florida life.)
The weather is amazing though.
There’s a breeze, and I wish I were on the back of a motorcycle, just riding.
Blue — my cat — is staring at me through the window, probably wondering what I’m doing out here.
Cable Chaos (Of Course)
Turns out the cable appointment was yesterday.
And the guy didn’t even ring the doorbell.
I didn’t hear a knock.
So now, I’m waiting all over again.
Then Came the News
Just now, my roommate came home and told me a friend of ours is in the hospital — on a ventilator.
That’s all she knows.
And That Was My Mother’s Day
Not Pinterest-perfect.
Not wrapped in a bow.
Just real.
A mix of old wounds, unexpected peace, and life doing what life does.
If you’re reading this and your Mother’s Day didn’t look like a Hallmark commercial either —
you’re not alone.
