I talked to my mom tonight

Talking to My Mom About the Bastille Day Attack

I talked to my mom tonight about the attack on France—the Bastille Day truck attack that killed eighty people on July 14th, 2016. I hadn’t been able to hear much news about it myself, only bits and pieces. My mom doesn’t believe ISIS was involved. My niece told her that ISIS doesn’t believe in killing children—and there were children among the dead. My heart breaks. Even though I posted my feelings on social media, I hope my state shows support for them. Many countries have already shown us support.

Reflections on 9/11 and Growing Fear

Then we got talking about 9/11. I told her my fears are even worse now because I have nephews and nieces still growing up—and most of all, my granddaughter and great niece. She said, “You can’t be afraid. When it’s your time, it’s your time.”

Why I Feel I’m Here for a Reason

I truly feel, in a huge way, that I am here for a reason. I was born three months early and weighed only two pounds, and with very little technology back then, I survived despite the odds against me. There has to be a purpose for my survival.

Right now, I’m at a standstill in life, overwhelmed by responsibility. I know this feeling well; I’ve been here many times before and hated it—but this time, I actually love it because I get to focus on me. I remember it used to drive me crazy!

Facing the Past: Talking About My Dad

Now that my dad is in a nursing home, I’m trying to find the right moment to talk to my mom about what my dad did to me and when we hid from the authorities for nine months. Does she believe me? Does she ever think about it? I’m not sure.

The Reality of Caregiving Costs

Today, I received a bill in the mail for two thousand dollars for my dad’s care. We talked about when Dad first got sick—I was paying $1,000 a month out of my own pocket for two years. She said she didn’t remember and felt horrible. I said, “Well, how much did it cost when I was born and had to stay in the hospital for six months? We’re even!”